I’ve been skeptical of Facebook from the moment it tricked me into joining.
Lately, I’ve been surfing the wave of Schadenfreude at its recent fall from grace. I even co-wrote an op-ed for the San Francisco Chronicle that took some major digs at it.
However, I won’t be quitting. Something happened over the weekend that reminded me of the positive power of Facebook. A friend died. His name was David Lee.
Here is David, laughing and smiling just before he left for Costa Rica:
David was one of the best guys I have ever met. The video is from a business he was supposed to launch right after he came back from Costa Rica. He died in a car crash on that vacation.
It’s very much in character that Dave made this video. He told me, “There are a lot of people that talk about doing things, but I’m someone who does them.”
He was going to launch that business on time no matter what. I had told him it might be fun to get some comedy actress-writers I knew to be in the videos. But the actress-writers wanted to sit down and chat about it over coffee first. Their coffee date day was the day of the shoot. So he decided to star in it himself.
In business, David personified Guy Kawasaki’s principle of “Be a mensch.” His inner haggler sometimes battled with his innate generosity, but the generosity won out. Every long afternoon and late night we worked in K-town coffee shops, he picked up the check. When it was dark, he insisted on walking me to my car.
One night we had a heart-to-heart about why Koreans can be so dramatic. It’s like the Armenians, he said. Koreans endured a lot of suffering in their history.
I learned of David’s death from a Facebook event invitation. At first I mistook “Farewell to David Lee” for a going-away party. It dawned on me what might have happened. We were sending him off in farewell at the beach.
Like all of Dave’s friends, the friend who invited me was warm and outgoing. We had connected pretty quickly on Facebook.
When Dave’s friends started posting pictures and stories on his Facebook wall, I had some context to understand how loved he was. The range of emotions from his connections was comforting too. Everyone was dealing in their own way. It helped make it more real, going through it in real time, and not alone.
And this was possible because David and his friends had shared so much already. This is a case where in the moment you don’t care if the pictures are private or public. The point is to remember and share our life with David.
Now I get the half of the argument that is defending Facebook. If you post something you probably want to share it at some level. Even in the years I posted under an alias on an obscure Web community, I did.
As an Internet and media lawyer, I still think the Facebook privacy scam is evil. I think it sets a terrible example for business ethics. I still advocate for people to consider alternatives like Twitter, Flickr and Evite.
But as a user, I was really glad for Facebook this week. I’ll protest the privacy changes by abstaining on June 6, but I won’t quit.
If I had, I would have missed out on a little of David. I had too little time with him as it is.
Gary Vaynerchuk (aka “Gary Vee”) of Wine Library TV gave a captivating and inspiring keynote address at Blog World Expo in Las Vegas in September 2008. If you can find a recording of it, please watch and link to it. Other advice from Gary is that if you’re going to podcast, update every day, or try to do so at least three times a week. That’s what you need to do to keep people’s attention. Another point he made is to give away as much as you can and still make a profit.
What Gary was referring to with the “Haterade” comment is his advice not to waste energy envying, hating, or criticizing those who are successful. Don’t turn away from others with a huge following merely because they are successful. Join them. Try to learn what works for them. Don’t drink the Haterade. Just don’t.
2. The secret to Twitter is who you follow, not who follows you.
This neat little article wraps up what is so cool about Twitter. Follow because you want to hear about things you don’t know. Never mind the numbers.
3. “The Asteroid is coming.”
—Cory Ondrejka, Keynote at Digital Music Forum West.
This little sound bite was taken from Corey Ondrejka’s keynote speech at Digital Media Wire‘s Digital Music Forum West last October. This conference was extraordinary in that it actually got leaders from clashing industries — the recording industry and the consumer electronics industry — on stage, face to face, frankly debating their mutually incompatible business models with no punches pulled. (Incidentally, it was the only time I ever heard someone answer the question of where the money from RIAA settlements goes. The answer, according to the panelist from one of the major record labels, is that it is split 50/50 with the artists after costs are taken off the top.)
Corey Ondrejka asked people in the audience to raise their hands if they know anyone who has an assistant printing out their emails, i.e., the dinosaurs. He was making a point about business models. “The asteroid is coming.”
Who shifted your paradigms in 2008?
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